Just Don't Call Them "The Expendables"

RED

**1/2 out of ****

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, Karl Urban and Helen Mirren

Running time: 110 minutes

RED is not just the title for Hollywood’s latest reunion of vintage thespians re-enacting moments from their action-packed prime. It stands for “Retired and Extremely Dangerous,” which already gives away much of the story and character details. But the acronym title could also be “Really Entertaining Diversion,” which is all that the film amounts to.

Leading the pack of veterans is Bruce Willis – a lot more coherent and lively than he was during his brief stint in another testosterone-filled reunion, this summer’s abysmal The Expendables. Here, he is Frank Moses, a retired CIA operative who has settled into idyllic, suburban Cleveland and is now working on a long-distance, over-the-phone relationship with a romance novelist named Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker).

But when a team of insurgents barrage his home, Moses decides to flee, picking up Sarah along the way, and beginning to plot revenge on the mastermind out to get him and a crew of retired black-op agents, among them the drug-raddled Marvin (Malkovich, who’s a hoot here) and Joe (Morgan Freeman, underdeveloped and underused).

RED also features Helen Mirren cozied up with a Kalashnikov, a brusque baddie from Star Trek’s Karl Urban, Richard Dreyfuss and Brian Cox embracing one-note caricatures with sleek class and a goofy smile, and one of the sweetest – and most unexpected – cameos from an Oscar-winning charmer, this time playing a CIA records keeper.

As you can probably guess, the secret to RED’s success is its inspired casting choices.

The rest of the film, based on a bloodthirsty comic-book series, is less than inspired; regrettably, the plot is a rehash of conspiracy thrillers (with many similarities to In the Line of Fire, which starred Malkovich) and over-the-top explosive theatrics (ones that recall Willis’s Die Hard series).

The meager storyline is of secondary importance: having our cast of characters reunite and evoke memories of the good ol’ days before they embark on their new mission comes first.

Its reliance on cueing action-movie clichés and half-decent wisecracks only go so far. This is the type of flick where characters will simply dust off the bloodshed they’ve inflicted after a carnage-heavy sequence. But RED doesn’t want you to take its storyline too seriously.

It’s the ingenious casting that makes RED worthwhile. Its performers are packed with so much candor, class and charisma that it prevents the onscreen action from being, well, expendable. Watching these seasoned stars chew up the scenery like it’s the pocpcorn you’ll undoubtedly be stuffing your face with is pure fun, and given the tired (or, more appropriately, retired) material, it's the best anyone can expect.