Superbad

Man of Steel

* out of ****

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Starring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane and Russell Crowe

Running time: 142 minutes

Director Zack Snyder should consider adopting the nickname ‘Kryptonite.’ His reimagining of Superman is a somber, soulless, tedious, cacophonous adventure that is so devoid of humanity, one wonders whether or not the entire thing was designed by machines.

The acting is animatronic-level, the writing a direct copy of better superhero origin stories, and the storytelling is amateurish, displaying blurry, whiplash-inducing action sequences that numb the senses to such a state that there is little rooting interest in what is happening onscreen. Great Caesar’s ghost, what a monstrosity!

Man of Steel is one of the worst summer blockbusters ever made and the largest waste a major studio has ever spent on a production (costs ballooned to close to $225 million). The result is a movie that is an affront to the idea of mass entertainment – it is a bore to sit through – and cinema, delivering not a single moment of convincing emotion.

The film begins with a plodding prologue, set on the planet Krypton. As the planet is laid to ruin and destruction, scientist Jor-El (Russell Crowe) and his wife Lara (Ayelet Zurer) send off their newborn son, Kal-El, to earth. Kal-El’s blood is infused with a genetic fiber that can one day repopulate the Kryptonian race.

Kal-El grows up on earth, taking the name of Clark Kent under new parents Jonathan and Martha Kent (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane). Jonathan tells Clark to keep his superhuman powers and celestial identity a secret, a problem for a man who can see through walls, walk through fire and run like the wind.

Clark grows up to look like strapping English actor Henry Cavill, who barely ignites any energy underneath a brawny physique. He looks blank and out-of-place, underneath David S. Goyer’s redundant, trite screenplay. Cavill can only emulate Superman in attributes, but not personality.

Man of Steel’s villain is General Zod, a commanding, sneering Krypton played by terrific character actor Michael Shannon, reduced mostly to a one-note menace. He is after that genetic codex that Superman has within him. Zod is glad to reduce the planet to a sinkhole of falling CGI skyscrapers and carnage to fulfill his mission.

The film is full of explosions, high-speed fights and destruction, yet not a moment of it is thrilling. None of the efforts made by hundreds of visual effects artists are worth anything if the actors have nothing useful to do or say.

Amy Adams is a lone spot of light as investigative reporter Lois Lane, although she quickly turns into a withering damsel in distress. The level of the rest of the acting would be adequate for a middle-school play.

Superman also lacks the gravitas and identifiable emotional depth that gets an audience to root for the hero. By the time the action-packed final third begins, the fighting becomes so monotonous – and product-placement savvy, since Supes and company fly through and demolish iHops, 7/11s and Sears department stores – it is hard to care.

Each scene in the film has such a grandiose CGI embellishment that you may end up pining for green screen, a staple of the 1978 Donner original.

Most egregious of all, Man of Steel is antithetical to Siegel and Shuster’s comic creation. The character’s defining traits are his nobility and idealism. He fights for ‘truth, justice and the American way,’ ridding the streets of corrupting and crime and instilling a moral order.

However, there is no sense of that humanity in Snyder’s thunderous film, which also has none of the lively, nimble fun or majestic sweep from earlier films, which were buoyed by Christopher Reeve’s boyish charm and John Williams’ exciting music.

Instead, we have a throbbing headache of a film, with leaden pacing, flat performances and incomprehensible action. Snyder continues to thud downward, reaching a circle of hellish cinematic ineptitude saved for special directors who have bombed spectacularly, namely Michael Bay, Joel Schumacher and M. Night Shyamalan.

Man of Steel marks a special case, where I resort to the notable soliloquy in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.