No Glory at the Glow of Rebirth

Fame

*1/2 out of ****

Directed by: Kevin Tancharoen

Starring: Naturi Naughton, Walter Perez, Kay Panabaker, Asher Book, Kherington Payne and Collins Pennie

Running Time: 107 minutes

Fame, a modern “reinvention” of Alan Parker’s Oscar-winning musical (not to forget the hugely popular 1980s television series), is a big and beautiful, but remarkably bland and emotionally blank update.

By replacing toe-tapping musical sequences with forgettable hip-hop numbers and by removing the weighty issues that made the original so compelling, this new model is a major step back in nearly every regard.

The New York High School of Performing Arts is back in session, now populated with an overwhelming class of teenagers whom are treated as big kids rather than young adults.

These cool cats include young rapper-wannabe Malik (Collins Pennie), stiff but hard-working actress Jenny (Kay Panabaker), beautiful and bodacious dancer Alice (Kherington Payne) and freestyle musician Victor (Walter Perez).

But the only name we’ll remember (as the title song encourages) is Naturi Naughton. She is Denise, a young girl who refrains from raising her voice to her strict parents, who insist she pursue classical piano. Instead, she raises her voice in another regard: by singing rock and hip-hop.

With Raven Symone’s face and Jennifer Hudson’s vocal range, Naughton is a standout. Her rendition of “Out Here on my Own,” the only song from the original film or stage musical that received any screen time here, is a highlight. That 3-minute rendition has soul, something that the rest of the PA student body sorely lacks.

What’s curious (and tragic) is that the four teachers, whom are rarely used, are more fascinating and consistently fun to watch than their students. Bebe Neuwirth (dance), Charles S. Dutton (acting), Megan Mullally (singing) and Kelsey Grammar (music, no longer the hardest profession in the world) fill up the roster with tough if compassionate educators. They elevate the material.

While the veterans are great, the amateurs miss the mark. Kevin Tancharoen’s direction, making its screen debut, is confident yet unsatisfying.

His extensive background as a choreographer for musical specials and premiere pop-artist concert tours is apparent in the film’s grand production numbers. But, as evidenced in a Halloween party sequence, as well as the film’s bizarre Lion King meets Sister Act graduation finale — a far cry from the triumphant “Body Electric,” — they are erratic and out-of place.

And while Fame certainly has flash, its script has no flair. The dialogue wouldn’t suffice a first draft of Glee’s worst episode, with the several premises coming off as recycled rather than rejuvenating.

However, what really sours this sugar-coated Performance Arts class is that there are almost no barriers separating these pesky kids from achieving fame. The story-lines, watered down to service those who have just graduated from High School Musical material, fail to be engaging or challenging.

There are a couple of bitter rejections, fewer reality checks and virtually no cutthroat competition. The only thing stopping these kids are their stubborn parents.

The film ultimately comes off as saying that it is easy to claim success: if you do your homework and try hard… and have perfect shiny faces, you’ll make it. Holden Caulfield would’ve hated this movie.

Maybe they should’ve dropped the “F” from the title and put an “L” in its place, or replaced the "M" with a "K".

It’s suitable that the croon of “Dogs in the Yard” is absent from this remake, since there’s no bite to be found. And it’s not the performances or glittered-up direction that drive this into the ground; instead, it's how blatantly Fame ignores the reality of what it’s like to be a performer struggling to find and maintain success.

By butchering every inch of authenticity from the original film’s bones (not to forget the stage musical and television series), this Fame isn’t much to remember.